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藏书阁
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2026-02-28 03:39:29
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藏书阁 藏书阁 Total Pageviews Tuesday, 11 June 2013 妈妈的信仰 我对宗教信仰的认知太少，每次填个人资料都是在栏目上华人的唯一选择——佛教上打勾。基本上，我只知道佛教需茹素斋戒的戒律，其他细节则一无所知。马来西亚华人的身份证上都按例标明“ Buddhist ”字眼，但究竟有多少人是真正信奉佛教的，则不得而知，因为在马来西亚有太多种族、太多信仰，搞得人们头昏脑涨，有时候连华人也搞不清楚自己究竟是属于哪门哪派，更别说其他族群能够区分华人的宗教信仰。为了省略麻烦，大家都把马来西亚的华裔国民直接视为佛教徒。 家里 家供奉着关帝公、九天玄女、灶神、地主爷、大伯公等诸神，妈妈说我们是道教徒。关于道教的戒律，我则不清楚，仅知道妈妈经常张罗祭祀，每月都有好几天得准备菜饭来烧香拜拜。她的双脚曾经动过手术，行动不太方便，也不适宜久站或屈膝下蹲，许多祭祀的工作只得差遣我们这些晚辈们来帮忙。 以前妈妈怕我年幼不懂事玩烛火，于是叫兄姐帮忙，后来他们频频喊忙，见我是老幺自然最好使。初时我怀着对神明敬畏的心理，乖乖照办妈妈的指示，凡事做得相当准确，态度毕恭毕敬，也没出什么意外，妈妈才放心让我来帮忙。日子久了，帮忙妈妈拜祭神明便成了我的分内事。 妈妈是很虔诚的信徒，在祭祀的时候秉持完美主义，诸多挑剔，清理神坛时不能移动神座、香炉、烛台等，拜拜、上香不得有误，倒茶不许溅出半滴茶水、不可分心、不可说话、这个不可以、那个不可以... ... 稍有差池，或她看得不顺眼，挨骂自然少不了。 我开始受教育后，凡事力求科学理性，也开始排斥鬼神论。有好几次，她要我在正午的太阳底下焚烧冥纸，她不会留意我是否晒痛了，或拿出纸巾给我拭汗，只关注她的烧盆是否摆正了、我有没有将属于诸神的冥纸次序调换，有没有烧得均匀 … 总之，未到她满意为止，我是不允许停下工作。这使我认为妈妈是个过度迷信的信徒，开始质疑妈妈的信仰是不是出了问题。 叛逆期间，我和妈妈的关系闹得很僵，她无法理解为何我总是无法达到她的要求，有次我的心情很差，做事也相当散漫敷衍，不小心把一杯茶打翻，她认为这对神明是极大不敬，她对我呼喝，疾言恶色。于是我干脆甩开杯子，顶撞一番后拂袖而去，当下我不明白，为什么妈妈总是把这些不会动、...
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